


Rome, Season 1, Episode 8, Caesarion

by TheSomewhatRamblingReviewer



Category: Rome (TV 2005)
Genre: Analysis, Episode Review, Episode: s01e08 Caesarion, Meta, Nonfiction, Season/Series 01, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:07:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24927451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSomewhatRamblingReviewer/pseuds/TheSomewhatRamblingReviewer
Summary: Warning: Contains spoilers for the episode and the rest of the series. Complete.
Kudos: 1





	Rome, Season 1, Episode 8, Caesarion

Open to Brutus at home. He morosely hands his cloak to a slave. 

Servilia wordlessly and perfunctorily greets him, and he’s left hurt and confused. 

Meanwhile, the newsreader announces a slave has been stolen from some house before adding Brutus and some others have come back from Greece with Caesar’s pardon. They aren’t to be harmed. 

The newsreader mentions Caesar is in Egypt, and there’s a transition to him entering the Egyptian palace with Vorenus and another soldier. 

Inside, Cleopatra’s bored-looking younger brother sits. 

Caesar tries to speak, but it turns out he only thought all the formalities were done. Heh. 

Outside, Pullo is carving something. 

Leaving him outside was a likely good move on Caesar’s part. 

Some boys throw rocks at him, and he gets up  to chase them off by throwing a rock at them. Then, he shoves one of his fellow soldiers. 

Back in the palace, one of the men promises the young king will be happy to help Caesar in whatever Caesar wants. Caesar asks about Cleopatra disputing the young king’s claim to the throne, and the little boy gets angry. The main speaker assures Caesar that Cleopatra has no real support. Caesar asks where she is. The speaker answers no one is sure, and Posca whispers he’s lying.

Caesar says he wants Egypt to be at peace so that they can continue trade with Rome. One of the other guys assures him their side holds control of all of Egypt. Caesar says it shouldn’t be a problem for them to hand over Pompey, then.

The young king tries to dismiss Caesar, and one of the men suggests they show Caesar the surprise they have for him. The young king agrees, and the main speaker informs Caesar they have a gift for him. They reveal Pompey’s disembodied head. Though Caesar is stoic, his face shows subtle traces of anguish.

Proving being a king doesn’t exempt him from a child’s innate talent of saying the exact wrong thing at precisely the wrong time, the young king goes on about how they were going to make a puppet out of the head and so on.

“Silence!” Caesar barks. He looks at the head with a little more grief showing and sniffs before calmly proceeding to characterise their acts as shameful and barbaric. One of them tries to point out the fact Pompey was his enemy, and Caesar roars, “He was a Consul of Rome!”

No doubt some part of Caesar is annoyed this act has ruined his plans of being able to force Pompey to, once again, ally with him. He wanted to send a message even his most powerful dissenter has acknowledged his rightful power whilst portraying himself as a merciful person who the less powerful dissenters need not fear as long as they accept him. However, some part of him is genuinely saddened by the loss as Pompey as a person. They once ruled together, presumably shared something of a friendship, and they were legally family at one point.

Some of the men begin to draw their swords to protect the young king. However, Caesar calms down. He asks where the rest of Pompey is, and the answer is the body was cremated.

Of course, none of them are going to admit it if they threw his body in a gutter or something.

Saying he’ll return tomorrow, Caesar demands they hand over the man who killed Pompey. He leaves, and Posca picks up the head before following.

At night, Caesar stands in front of a burning funeral pyre with everyone else behind him. Tears silently falling, he makes his cloak into a veil, and he prays in Latin as Pompey’s head burns.

Later, he sits morosely in his tent with Antony, and Antony is smart enough to simply sit quietly with him. Coming in, Posca says they can leave whenever Caesar likes. Caesar says Antony and half the men will go back to Rome to announce Pompey’s death. He says he’ll follow after he’s settled things.

Unsure what’s going on and how to react, Antony looks to Posca. Unfortunately, Posca is lost, too. Tentatively, Antony inquires, “Settled things? Settled what things?”

Caesar answers civil war is fast approaching Egypt.

Antony doesn’t see why they shouldn’t just let it happen.

The real reason is the civil war is just an excuse. Caesar wants vengeance on those who killed Pompey. However, he makes a reasonable point, if Egypt has a civil war, they won’t keep sending grain to Rome, and people starving under his dictatorship wouldn’t look good.

Antony wonders how Caesar plans to settle things with only half a legion. Caesar answers he plans to merely arbitrate rather than fight. Antony argues this it isn’t as easy as Caesar is trying to sell it; he points out the various factions have a hatred of Rome in common.

Probably wondering if the world is going to end soon, Posca acknowledges Antony is right.

Caesar argues he conquered Gaul and defeated Pompey, and therefore, he can handle a child and a eunuch. Posca tries to point out the small boy has thousands of men at his disposal. When Caesar brushes this aside, Antony brings up the fact they’re still at war with Cato and the others. Caesar calmly answers, when the time comes, he’ll crush them.

Antony responds, “I'm glad you're so confident. Some would call it hubris.”

“It’s only hubris if I fail,” Caesar responds.

He leaves.

Antony looks put-out.

The next day, Caesar reminds Vorenus that Cleopatra is a royal princess. This means respectful treatment and compliance with all reasonable orders are expected. He says he’s counting on Vorenus. Noticing Vorenus wants to say something, Caesar prods him to speak. Vorenus apologises for what happened to Pompey. He acknowledges, if he had done his duty, it wouldn’t have happened.

Not yet willing to forgive him, Caesar answers, “Indeed. Dismissed.”

Saluting, Vorenus leaves.

In the palace, Caesar stands as the young king is carried in on a reclining couch. He asks about the murderer, and the main speaker claims he’s run away.

Caesar demands the man be found. Presenting a list detailing how much money Cleopatra’s father borrowed from Rome, he reveals he’s come to collect. The main speaker objects, but both Posca and Caesar say they have legal right to do so with Caesar calling the main speaker, “You wretched woman.”

Getting up, the young king takes the scroll from the main speaker. He throws it at Caesar’s feet. Caesar is calm, but when the kid continues to be a smart-aleck, he orders, “Sit down!”

Stewing, the young king complies.

“Thank you,” Caesar says. “When can I expect payment?”

The main speaker says they don’t even have this much for their own people. Caesar lowers the amount, but the main speaker confesses the dispute with Cleopatra has caused unrest, and therefore, even the lowered amount is a large number to come by. Declaring he’ll wait, Caesar also says he’ll help settle the dispute as well as find the missing princess.

In the dessert, Vorenus and a complaining Pullo wait. Sharpening his sword, Vorenus orders Pullo not to insult the gods in their own land. He says Egypt was a great nation long before Rome.

Responding Egypt isn’t so great anymore, Pullo asks what they’re waiting for, and looking at a miniature of Niobe, Vorenus answers, “I’ll know when I see them.”

Pullo isn’t pleased with the non-answer.

In the throne room, the young king kicks something. The main speaker characterises Caesar’s actions as extortion. The young king says Caesar’s plan will only work if he can find Cleopatra, but the main speaker calls Caesar resourceful. Agreeing, one of the men says they should have killed her when they first made their power play. He declares she has to die. The adults all agree, and someone is sent out. The camera doesn’t show the young king or his reaction to this.

Back in the desert, Vorenus sees the assassins ride by, and he kicks the blanket Pullo is buried under. They ride after them.

The assassins ride up to tents. Inside one, Cleopatra has shaven legs and armpits despite her captivity. Restrained by a foot chain, she has a pipe full of some sort of drug next to her. Her handmaiden gently strokes her leg.

Her face is shown, and she looks like an ordinary woman. Pretty could describe her, but she’s neither gorgeous nor ugly.

I usually try to leave the physical appearance of actress’ completely out of things, but in this instance, I applaud the casting when it comes to this aspect. Many people are of the opinion Cleopatra’s greatest assets were her brains and strong personality.

Entering, another woman whispers something to the handmaiden. Sending her away, the handmaiden gently coaxes Cleopatra into a sitting position. She explains someone wants to see her. “Slap me,” Cleopatra says. The woman unhesitatingly complies. Upon being told it’s night, Cleopatra says the person may enter.

The man bows, and calling him a worm, Cleopatra bids him to speak. He apologetically informs her of her impending death. Sobbing, the handmaiden clings to her. Entering, the assassins pry the handmaiden away. They haul Cleopatra to her feet, andthe main assassin tells her, “Say your words.”

With dignity, Cleopatra begins praying.

However, the man who announced her death stumbles in. Two of the assassins go out to see what’s going on, and the audience hears them being taken out. Pullo enters the tent, and he and the main assassin fight. Cleopatra and the handmaiden huddle on a bed, and the handmaiden tries to shield Cleopatra’s body with her own. Winning, Pullo continues to violently stab the man even after he’s dead. Finally, remembering the two women are in the room, he cheerfully says, “Hello, ladies.” Hee.

Back at the palace, with the young king nowhere around, the main speaker and others discuss killing Caesar. The main speaker convinces a reluctant leader to go against Caesar.

In Caesar’s tent, Pompey’s killer enters with a message. Posca reads it, and it identifies the messenger as the killer. Soldiers begin to surround him.

There’s a shot of his head being mounted on a pole outside.

Back to Cleopatra, she’s examining a Roman coin with Caesar’s image on it.

I imagine the coin was Vorenus’s but Pullo was the one who suggested they give it to her.

She declares him handsome enough. The handmaiden doesn’t agree. There’s another woman in the bedroom who does nothing but sit and quietly sew.

Cleopatra wants more drugs, and the handmaiden is worried about the addiction she seems to be developing. Cleopatra is uncaring until the handmaiden calls her weak. In response, Cleopatra slaps the handmaiden. Continuing, the handmaiden says Cleopatra can beat her slaves just fine but can’t throw away the pipe.

Cleopatra orders, “Throw it out.” She repeats her order when the handmaiden is wary to do so.

The handmaiden throws the pipe out of the large liter many men are carrying.

Did Vorenus and Pullo send a smoke signal or something? They didn’t have all these men with them earlier, and I doubt a letter would have brought all them fast enough. Or are they Cleopatra’s men? If so, why didn’t any of them raise a rebellion?

Outside, Pullo is usual crude self, and Vorenus reminds him Cleopatra’s father rode with Alexandria’s people. Standing by his statement, Pullo declares Cleopatra wants him. This causes genuine laughter from Vorenus. “Pullo, look at me. She is a princess of royal blood. You touch her, you die.”

“I’m not stupid,” Pullo protests. “I’m just saying she wants me.”

At night, the two make camp outside.

Inside, the handmaiden tries to cool Cleopatra down. Cleopatra thinks the only way she’ll be able to live is if she seduces Caesar. She declares she won’t fail.

The handmaiden bites her own hand hard enough to draw blood. She wipes the blood on her forehead, and touched, she sits up to hug the handmaiden. Then, she laments not being able to have sex with Caesar right now. Having a silent realisation,the handmaiden draws back.

Outside, she examines the duo before eventually deciding on Vorenus. She orders him to follow her.

Inside, Cleopatra is sprawled out on the bed. Staring straight ahead, he politely asks how he can be of service. Cleopatra sniffs him. Vorenus is told to enter the princess. He doesn’t understand, and the handmaiden explains he’s to have coitus with her.

Vorenus is mortified, but he whispers in a tone devoid of anger, “You have it wrong. Coitus means to make babies.”

The handmaiden excitedly confirms this is exactly what she means.

Cleopatra opens her legs as Vorenus’s sword and cloak are removed. The handmaiden tells him not to be scared.

“I’m not scared. I just can’t do as you ask,” is his reply.

Cleopatra rubs her foot against his chest, and the handmaiden assures him, “My queen is an excellent lover.”

This is an uncomfortable scene.

Cleopatra’s foot goes below the waist. Breathing heavily from discomfort, Vorenus grabs her legs, and she falls back on the bed. He falls on top of her. Using his arms to keep himself raised, he continues hyperventilating, and Cleopatra wonders what he’s waiting for. The handmaiden tries to remove more of his clothes in an effort to help, and Vorenus bolts away.

Despite his justifiable anger, he respectfully apologises, and she is angry he refuses her. He gets an idea, and a few seconds later, he’s storming out with his clothes in hand. “Pullo, report immediately to Princess Cleopatra, and do as she says.”

As bad as I genuinely feel for Vorenus, I have to admit to finding this part funny.

Pullo is confused, but Vorenus wearily orders, “Just go.”

When Pullo enters, the women look surprised but hopeful. Throwing his cloak over his soldier, Pullo says, “Legionary Titus Pullo reporting for duty, ma’am.” The handmaiden and Cleopatra both examine him, and then, look at one another.

The next scene is of Pullo and Cleopatra having vigorous sex as slaves chant. Outside, Vorenus has a small half-smile.

Despite what happened to him, the princess got what she wanted, and his friend is happy.

Later, when Pullo enters the tent, Vorenus immediately makes it clear he doesn’t want to hear about it. He reminds Pullo, ‘I was just following orders,’ though correct, wouldn’t save him from Caesar’s wrath.

Although, this concern seems a bit misplaced right now. Did Caesar say he wanted Cleopatra for a lover? If he never gave any indication he wanted her romantically, why would he care if she and one of his soldiers got it on? Does Vorenus somehow know she wants to have a child and pass it off as Caesar’s? Couldn’t it just be the fact she was horny?

During the next day, Vorenus, Pullo, and the handmaiden ride into town with hooded cloaks up. Cleopatra rides in a bag slung over Pullo’s horse.

I know they’re trying to give a nod to the story Cleopatra was smuggled in a rolled up carpet, but why couldn’t they have just given her a hooded cloak, too, and reminded her to keep her head down?

They go inside with Pullo carrying his potentially pregnant one-night stand.

Inside, they open the bag to announce her presence. She wipes non-existent dirt off her skin. Turning towards Caesar, she holds out a hand. For a moment, he just stands there before walking over to take her hand.

To me, this reaction proves he wanted Cleopatra simply so he could put her on the throne and destroy those who were responsible for Pompey’s death. He didn’t have any thoughts of being romantically/sexually involved with her.

Meanwhile, the young king is kicking a blindfolded man. His game is interrupted by Cleopatra entering the room with Caesar behind her.

The young king runs to his throne, and sensing the change in mood, the main speaker removes his blindfold. Once he sees her, she walks straight past him. She mockingly inquires of the young king, “Is something wrong, little husband?”

She leans over to kiss him, and he turns so she kisses his cheek. She says he looks funny in their father’s chair, and he fearfully says he never wanted to harm her. She declares it was obviously his gelding, the main speaker, who led him astray. The main speaker tries to protest, but she just orders his death.

Next, his head and another of the advisors are put on the poles with Pompey’s murderer.

Back in the castle, Vorenus and the others lock up. He orders them to get in formation. All but Pullo do, and Vorenus allows him to stay for a moment before ordering, “And you, Pullo.”

Meanwhile, Cleopatra and Caesar talk about Calpurnia. She asks if they have a son.

No, just a dead daughter whose husband’s death affected him more hers did.

Cleopatra thinks a man without a son is a man without a future.

How is she so confident the baby she’s going to have will be a boy?

Caesar answers, “I’ve never thought of it that way.”

If he ever needs to, he could start saying he agrees with the rumours Brutus is his son. Sure, Servilia and possibly Brutus would both be angry enough to kill, but it’s still an option, and in the case of the former, she already does.

She changes the subject to how he can control Egypt. He doesn’t readily admit to wanting this, and she answers, of course, he does. She asks why else he’d being Egypt saving her.

The answer is Pompey’s death has cut him deep.

She says he wants her to be his puppet queen.

Actually, I think he’d settle for her promising to keep grain going to Rome. It’s interesting how this Cleopatra is volunteering herself for things I doubt this Caesar ever really considered.

He asks how she’d feel about being a puppet queen, and either acknowledging or simply playing into the patriarchy, she answers her wishes are immaterial. He rescued her from captivity, and therefore, she will be submissive to him.

Meanwhile, Vorenus looks out the barred door with the others standing behind him.

Back in the room, Caesar approaches a naked Cleopatra. He removes the sheet covering her. They begin having sex. There’s intersecting shots of Servilia and Octavia having sex.

I don’t necessarily object to this, but until now, only Servilia was briefly shown at the beginning of the episode. Why are they being shown now?

Next is a montage.

Vorenus watches a man appear. There’s more sex. More people appear outside. There’s more sex.

There’s now a loud crowd outside, and closing the door over the bars, Vorenus gives an order in some other language than translated English. The place doesn’t have roof, and one of the guys outside throws something. It hits one of the soldiers. Pullo and Vorenus stand against the door to try to keep the people outside from breaking in.

Why don’t the people outside get some ropes or some ladders and enter via the top?

Lying down, Cleopatra smiles to herself.

Servilia and Octavia sleep snuggled together.

Finally, back in Rome, Cicero is waiting for Brutus in the Senate chamber. They clasp hands.

Why would the two of them meet in an empty Senate?

Maybe there’s going to be a meeting later, and they just came early.

Cicero asks how Brutus is. Brutus gives a self-pitying speech about not being able to sleep and writing bad poetry. Cicero declares they did what they had to do and that they shouldn’t feel badly about it.

“No doubt Saturn said something of the sort after eating his children,” Brutus answers.

No doubt Servilia will tell herself the same thing after her son is killed by the men fighting in her ex-lover’s name.

They sit, and Cicero mentions Caesar has been in Alexandria for the better part of a year. Brutus points out Caesar is something of a Houdini when it comes to getting himself out of tight spots. Cicero suggests Caesar’s luck has run out. Then, he points out, if Caesar dies, Antony will be free to do all the things Caesar restrains him from doing. Uncaring, Brutus declares himself done with politics.

In response, Cicero calls Brutus out on his self-pity. He acknowledges he, too, is somewhat ashamed, but they’re still Senators with responsibilities. Brutus reminds him they swore an oath of loyalty to Caesar. Cicero counters they didn’t swear one to Antony.

I’m not sure who in their right mind would swear such an oath to him.

Leaning forward, Cicero says Cato and Scipio have raised an army. He starts to suggest they communicate with them. However, appearing, Antony happily greets them. Declaring he was just thinking about them,he says has some happy news.

When he comes up, they both stand, and I find it interesting Brutus automatically extends both arms for a hug while Cicero simply leans forward and puts one arm loosely around Antony when he’s hugged. Antony and Brutus sit. Cicero remains standing.

Antony jabbers on until he finally realises the two won’t be joining the conversation. “Everyone misjudges me, you know,” he says.

And those people all end up dead.

“I’m a merciful man.” When he’s forced to be. “I know that’s not my reputation, but I am.” It’s possible he believes the fact he follows Caesar’s orders not to randomly go around killing those who annoy him makes him the same as genuinely merciful people.

Continuing everyone is entitled to a few mistakes, he declares he’s made some himself he’s ashamed to think of.

Uh-huh.

Like me, Cicero is in no mood to hear Antony’s pitiful attempts to try to cast himself as anything other than a sociopathic jock Caesar has on a leash. “We are all of us imperfect in our way.” He tries to leave, but putting up a leg, Antony blocks his path.

It’s not as if Cicero could just walk across to another aisle and walk down it. After all, Brutus is there, and Antony isn’t going to physically harm him. Although, maybe, Cicero is afraid Brutus wouldn’t try to defend him.

Antony tells Cicero to give him his hands. Cicero warily complies. Antony says he forgives Cicero. “I don’t know what you mean,” Cicero replies.

Gripping Cicero’s hands tighter, Antony warningly continues, “Nothing escapes me… So be assured, brother, if I ever again hear your name connected with murmurs of treachery,” he forces Cicero down on his knees, “I will cut off these soft, pink hands and nail them to the Senate door.” Creepily kissing Cicero’s hands, he releases them, and Cicero falls to the floor.

Brutus simply looks at Antony, and Antony gives him a half-smile, because, he knows he can’t do the same to Brutus.

He gets up to leave, and Brutus speaks up. “Antony. You said you had happy news to tell us.”

Antony says he’s gotten news from Egypt. Caesar is safe and master of all it. Leaving, Antony notes, "The man is a damn prodigy, eh?”

In a river, the young king’s dead body floats.

At the palace, the soldiers stand at attention when, carrying a baby, Cleopatra walks out with Caesar by her side. She hands the baby to him. Holding the baby up, he pulls the blankets aside to reveal the baby’s penis. All the soldiers besides Vorenus loudly cheer. He glares at Pullo, and Pullo briefly quiets before going right on with the cheering. Heh.

I know the duo both thinks the baby is Pullo’s, but how do they know for sure? She did have sex with Caesar almost immediately after she did with Pullo.

Fin.


End file.
